Fluid Eating's Review of Aquum
Lights, camera, action…. The stage is set, the VIPs are on the front row, your clothes are in place, the music starts and the lights are on you. Wait a minute, this isn’t Paris Fashion Week, this isn’t even Paris. This is Clapham High Street and I’m at Aquum.
The bouncer with no neck and a menacing smile makes me feel like a Z-lister trying to get in to the most exclusive party. Girls, this is where you show your pearly whites and a flash of cleavage (come on, we all know you do it). Gentlemen, a bit of friendly banter is the secret recipe for your admittance (arm wrestling won’t get you anywhere).
But once you are in, this place is pretty special.
It’s sexy. No, wait, the people inside are sexy. This isn’t Fashion Week but walking through I feel like I’m walking amongst the models from the spring/summer collection 2010. A huge effort has been made by the girls, they haven’t spontaneously decided to go to Aquum, they’ve been fake tanning, nail polishing, hair straightening, lip glossing and small dress-deciding for weeks. The men are chisel-chinned, slick haired, designer labelled cool – note to self, a wandering eye doesn’t bode well when you’re with your boyfriend.
It’s a good job the people here are hot because after 11pm the place gets packed out and there’s not enough room to swing a Louis Vuitton bag. Cue an upstairs VIP section via another equally scary no-neck. Names not down, you’re not coming in. My name is down, yippee!
There is a lot more space and a view of the rest of the bar from there. I feel more superior - it’s like looking down on the minions. Great for watching dodgy dance moves, checking out the not-so-hot lads trying their luck with a groups of girls, and the inevitable talent spotting. Stop it – you’re here with your boyfriend!
There is one caution up there though. Fire. Every so often a bottle of plonk weaves its way through the masses set alight with a huge sparkler – the perks of having a birthday in the VIP lounge, eh?
For the less extravagant, a bottle of vodka and mixers can be shared with friends, thus avoiding queues at the bar (shame). Plus, there’s something to be said for pouring drinks for your mates. Who needs a 35ml measure, anyway? Cocktail fiends beware, though, with over 70 cocktails on the menu, the concoctions are delicious and very more-ish. If you’re after a lemonade and a chat, this is not the place. If you want to dance with a mojito in one hand and a hot lad/lady in the other, then it is.
Terry, the director, is proud of the toilets. I’m an OCD-aholic but I couldn’t agree more. The queue might take an age - it’s no surprise, models need to re-touch all the time - but once in, it’s plush. With padded doors and gold leather walls it’s luxurious, clean, and has mirrors big enough for all girls to use at once. I wasn’t quite brave, or drunk, enough to venture into the men’s although I heard they are pretty special too. They don’t have pretty girls, though. Sorry lads.
It got to about midnight before the drinks got the better of me. By that time the bar was heaving and everyone was having what can rightly be described as a ‘good time’. Weaving my way out through the busy downstairs, past grooving girls and boys watching grooving girls and I’m out. Eyes open… yep, still on the high street. Inside might seem a world away from Clapham but outside there’s no limo waiting for me, and I’ve still got to run for the bus.
Next time you’re in Clapham you need to remember one thing: all the ugly people go to Infernos, all the beautiful people go to Aquum.
Reviewed by Rebecca Brett.
DESCRIPTION: After a successful opening earlier this year, AQUUM has quickly established itself as the place to see and be seen in SW4. Offering a cool and chic feel, this interchangeable South London haunt is spread over three floors, spoiling you with plenty of room to relax throughout the week over a bite to eat with friends and ample space to get your groove on at the weekends.
Catering for up to 450 guests, this luxurious venue really does offer something for everyone, be it strutting your stuff in the large main bar, getting down to the beat on the basement floor, getting close and personal in the VIP mezzanine or simply watching the world go by on the sun drenched terrace (heaters and covers on standby!) (Updated 11/02/2010)
Aquum Food & Drink Menus
Listed below are few sample food and drinks items available at
Aquum. These lists are not enhaustive, but are instead designed to give you an overview of the venue's
offerings and assciated prices.
Aquum Food menu
Aquum's Head Chef has designed a canapé style menu of light and easy to share platters that complement the cocktails on offer, focusing on small dishes from different regions of the world.
| Item |
Price |
| Lamb Shank with Dauphnoise, Merguez sausage & Jus |
£12.50 |
|
Aquum Drink menu
Aquum's extensive cocktail list contains a well balanced mix of classic and bespoke creations including an impressive range of molecular cocktails. Split into Sunset and Moonlight, the selection of cocktails and prices adjust as the evening progresses, meaning you can enjoy light and long cocktails after work and heady martinis later into the night.
| Item |
Description |
Price |
| Mojito Martini |
Perfectly shaken classic mojito, strained and topped with a Mango Espuma. |
£7.50 |
| Fools Good |
Mesmerizing combination of Gold & Champagne. Has to be seen to be believed.. |
£9.00 |
Aquum Special Offers
We have some fabulous food promotions at Aquum. Come try our food, you will not be disapointed! We have had rave reviews about our Sunday roast lunches with ribeye beef and corn fed chicken...yumm!!!
Like our review? Has one of the customer reviews for Aquum amsued you? Share it with the world!