Beach Blanket Babylon in Notting Hill, London

Fluid Eating's Review of Beach Blanket Babylon

Best for: unique interiors; crowd watching; self-help.

Great: theatrics; indulgence; service.

I’ve been feeling distrustfully happy for a while now. This has spurred me to find ways to stimulate different emotions using methods such as listening to sad music or answering phone calls from people who upset me. Yet still I find myself back at bliss, which distresses me. I need some second-degree pain, and pronto. Fortunately, I found relief from my plateau of emotional beatitude at a Notting Hill bar and restaurant.

Beach Blanket Babylon - or BBB to those who fear long winded exhaustion - extends itself onto a street lined with idyllic boutiques, puffing out its white-stoned, white-canopied chest in imitation of those who stand inside, shoulders back, chests out, stomachs in, chins tilted upwards, eyes surveying the heavily perfumed, shiny-haired, white-toothed crowd.

Inside is a world of extravagance and extroverts. This is not a reality I’ve ever experienced. Social intercourse with the wealthy and well-to-do is something in which I’m not practiced. They’re dressed in their Gucci and their gaud; I’m decrepit to the marrow of my bones. But this is my latex protection; a skin of cheap, virtually impenetrable material, protecting my virginal virtue and preventing the socially transmitted infections of consumerism, capitalism and other ‘C’ words which indicate moral ‘crappiness’. I’m not sure it’s possible to make a portmanteau out of literati and glitterati.

Passing the thick of the theatrical, I sit next to a fire in one of the many upstairs alcove, dining areas. It casts a glow over the series of chapels, galleries, and sculleries, all joined by walkways, tunnels and bridges, each filled with pattern, candles, feathers, gilt and sculpture. The opulence extends to red velvet chairs, Greek statues, chandeliers and foliage. Is this Ancient Greece, 1920s Paris, or Skull Island?

It’s as if no real thought has gone into the design and yet the result is not totally unpleasant in its confusion. Just as the decor is contradictory, and at face value haphazard, so too are my words on how I feel about BBB. For me, this places births a painful pleasure, much like sticking your fingers in hot wax.

See, the food at BBB really is good. As is the wine. And the cocktails. And the charm and enthusiasm of the staff. The seared scallops with a cauliflower puree, confit tomato and hazelnut vinaigrette is perfection. The smoked duck, roasted butternut squash with a mustard cress and pomegranate dressing lives up to the waitress’s high recommendation. Mains of Monkfish medallion and perfectly presented Scottish beef result in empty plates and satisfied bellies.

Following chocolate marquise, pistachio ice-cream, coffees, wine, Golden mojitos and Porn Star martinis, I’m venturing over the chained bridge, descending the spiral staircase and through the specus rooms, to check the ladies. En route I overhear a girl refer to her St Tropez’d, French-manicured friend as ‘Symphony-Story’. This simple interaction sounded like a punchline. The Free Market inspired extravagant choices, cultural pastiche and slogan names - Katie Claudine Couric, Robert Rainbow Redford, Hulk Hebron Hogan – but I ask, what is wrong with tradition?

Another result of the Free Market is punishing music, which has clearly been composed for one purpose: to create envy of those who are deaf. Lucky blighters. I move from restaurant to bar, where the intoxicated crowd sways to the beats of Ladies GaGa, Marmalade and Sovereign. One girl hangs off the mountain that is her boyfriend’s bicep and giggles into her martini. Have you ever been so embarrassed for another person that you’re physically repulsed?

For this type of ‘courting’, BBB is the kind of place anti-feminists would revel in. Any complaints about the liberation of women have been addressed and rectified at BBB as the men are rich and the women are keen to invest. If you still want to shake an angry finger at those responsible for our great country’s economic downturn, I suspect you may find many a guilty ‘soul’ within the sparkling walls of BBB.

The crowd is happy, nonetheless, laughing to the point of hysteria. This laughter is either a result of their fortunate wealth or (what I’ve heard is) a reliable indicator of a happy childhood. Wikileaks shows us that most of modern life is about leading a double identity and being two-faced. The whole world acts on fraudulence. Diplomacy, even in a social sense, truly is a game of smoke and mirrors. Exiting stage left, I glance back in at the theatrical production still playing out and conclude that I never was, nor ever will be, good at acting. This probably also means I’ll never be rich. Or marry someone rich. But I’m ok with that. All this introspection has made me feel thoroughly morose again. Thank goodness for that. Problem sorted.

Reviewed by Faye Armstrong.

DESCRIPTION: The fantastic theme does not stop with the name in this extraordinary venue. The restaurant is located inside Sleeping Beauty's tower serving a modern British menu with Mediterranean influence. (Updated 18/03/2011)

Beach Blanket Babylon Food & Drink Menus

Listed below are few sample food and drinks items available at Beach Blanket Babylon. These lists are not enhaustive, but are instead designed to give you an overview of the venue's offerings and assciated prices.

Beach Blanket Babylon Food menu

Gold Medalist in the Salon Culinaire 2007 Bbb’s new Head Chef, Rex Newmark has created a new menu of

Starters such as “Seared Scallops with Black Pudding and Cauliflower Puree” and “Pan Fried Quail Breast with Caramelized Commis Pear & Foie Gras”. Followed with “Roasted Pork Belly Marinated with Fennel Seeds, Sautéed Spring Greens, Creamy Mash, Buttered Apples & Cider Jus” his menu will ensure that even the most discerning palate is inspired.

Item	Price
Endive, Pear & Stilton Salad with a Balsamic Dressing & Walnuts	£7.90
Wild Scottish Halibut	£20.50
Wild Scottish Halibut with Salsify Puree, Oyster Mushrooms served with Lentils & Shallot Vinaigrette
Lamb	£21.50
Rump of Lamb with Rosemary and White Bean Puree, Seasonal Baby Vegetables And Rosemary Butter

Beach Blanket Babylon Drink menu

With an extensive cocktail list eschewing minimalism in favour of the “over the top” cocktails drinks here are a luscious affair. The wine list is also customarily extensive listing among it 30 of the very best wines of the Bordeaux region from a 1961 Haut Brion to an equally impressive Mouton Rothschild of the same year. Champagnes are also equally decadent listing Krug, Moet, Veuve, Magnum Cristal to vintage Jeroboams of Dom Perignon.

Item	Description	Price
Porn Star Martini	Classic blend of Cariel Vanilla Vodka, Passion Syrup, Passion fruit Puree, Vanilla sugar & lemon juice Served with a shot of Champagne.	£10.50
Million Dollar Mojito	Brown Sugar, Fresh Lime & Organic Mint with Havana Club Rum.	£9.50
Manilo Blahnic Mai Tai	Light, Gold & Dark Rum, Cherry & Apricot Brandy with Pineapple.	£9.50
“Paris Hilton” Classic Cocktail	Sugar lump coated in Bitters & Remy Martin XO topped with Champagne.	£11.00

Beach Blanket Babylon Map

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“It was a surprise from my boyfriend, and what an incredible night it was. The decor was fantastic, gin and tonic strong, service spot on, rack on lamb to die for, left the venue wanting more. I highly reccommend a visit!” Rating: — Sian Mccatty, Wimbledon (04 May 2007)

“Wow! This place is just too glamorous for words. It oozes coolness and style. The decor, the cocktails, the just too expensive magnums of crystal are enough to make your eyes water! Beautiful crowd too! If you go, dress up or you'll fade into the brick work and get shown up by their jewelry cabinets! Take a platinum amex too, you'll need it!” Rating: — jamie, new york (08 Mar 2006)

“You have to visit this bar! What makes this bar unique is the fact that even though it attracts a cool crowd its not pretentious in any way. The decor is amazing unlike many bars that can feel quite clinical in appearance. Whenever I have been the staff are always friendly and having eaten in the restaurant once I can say the food is lush. The portions are just right and its nice to chill out in the bar afterwards with many cocktails you wont be disappointed.” Rating: — Melanie Whittaker, Highgate (10 Feb 2006)

“Always loved Beach Blanket Babylon but since they refurbished it - must have been a couple of months ago - it's even better! Food is excellent and the design of the bar is simply gorgeous. You must try it.” Rating: — sam, london (09 Dec 2005)

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