The Exhibit in Balham, London

Fluid Eating's Review of The Exhibit

What to do tonight? Hmmm. How about attempting that near-impossible Pro Evo champions league semi-final against Real Madrid saved on the Wii? Or maybe the lads fancy meeting up for a few Kronies and some live Monday night comedy? Maybe it’s a rave night and there’s some serious shapes out there that need throwing? Perhaps it’s more of a date night; dinner for two in a fancy restaurant followed by some sofa snuggling and a movie (with table service, obviously)? But then it IS a beautiful evening and it would be nice to be outside, basking on a sunny balcony, overlooking loads of pretty girls, supping on a Dewars Whisky Sour. Hmmm. Or maybe, just maybe, it’d be worth trying ALL of the above in one multifaceted entertainment centre of joy?

You don’t for much do you, son?

Well....

Hold tight London for Fluid has found the best new old bar in the capital (10 years young apparently). If you can’t find something to like about The Exhibit then you ARE an exhibit; an exhibit at the Museum of Oh My Days You Iz Well Wrong Innit. Have a pen and paper at the ready, you’ll need to take this down. Actually, don’t bother. The less people that know, the better. In fact, The Exhibit? Blah, rubbish, boooo. Worst venue ever.

Let’s look at The Exhibit through the eyes of our fictitious bloke: Bob. Bob is a junior manager at ‘The Firm’. He likes hanging out with Jenny, Cath and Dave from his department. He likes bubbles in his booze. He wants a pint and he wants it pronto. He doesn’t want to be baffled by cocktail lists. He wants to play Wii, but not at home by himself. He wants a bar where he can take a first date, possibly somewhere with a cosy roaring fire and a large aquarium (perfect as a conversational gap filler if it starts to go a bit pear shaped: “Is that a tiny shark?”). Therefore, Bob likes Exhibit A: the ground floor.

Secretly, though, Bob has eyes for bigger prizes. With a little extra work Bob suddenly gets promoted into middle management. He ditches his pals on the ground floor, starts calling himself Robbie, and now hangs out with Victoria, Justin and Sophie from head office. Now he craves seclusion and a wine list that covers every variety of price and provenance. He wants dim lighting, chill out music and oil candles. He wants a restaurant with an open plan kitchen so he can see his confit of duck leg with celeriac mash being prepared. He wants adequate, not massive, portions. He wants room for dessert. He wants that amazing baked cheesecake to be the grand finale.

Robbie is still only middle management, mind, so a nifty meal deal will help to seal the deal; something like a 3-9-3 special, for example (£3 starters, £9 main, £3 dessert). And he wants a Sauvignon Blanc house wine that isn’t predictably shocking but is fairly fantastic instead. Therefore, Robbie likes Exhibit B: the first floor restaurant.

However, Robbie is still not entirely satisfied. He still yearns to be upper class. He doesn’t want a waitress to ask for his order, he wants a bar tender to teach and recommend. He wants extreme intimacy. He wants the lighting even dimmer. He wants blinds covering windows of opportunity, through which he can cast an eye over the sad despondent faces in the busy Sainsburys car park below. He wants to think to himself “It’s great being me in here, and not them out there”.

Sure enough, Robbie gets lucky and lands himself a partnership at ‘The Firm’. Victoria, Justin and Sophie are long gone because now he’s out with Jemima, the boss’s daughter, and he’s calling himself Roberto. Therefore, Roberto likes Exhibit C: Level 3.

Here, Roberto can really come into his own. Up here everything seems jaaaaazzzzzzz. He likes that there isn’t a cocktail list, but a tasting menu. He likes that the cocktails are still cheap, considering the quality. He likes being given the opportunity to see famous comedians practicing their new material on the aforementioned Monday nights. He likes that he and Jemima don’t have to venture into the West End to go to the cinema as The Exhibit has one of its own. Roberto is very pleased with himself.

Despite Roberto’s many praises for The Exhibit, he is slightly blind to a few flaws: the decidedly average starters; the far-too-close positioning of restaurant tables; and the incapability of the staff to serve coffee after 5pm (presumably because slacker freelancers all drop tools at 5 in order to start the ‘proper’ drinking).

Despite these minor niggles, The Exhibit is recommended to absolutely everyone. It’s only best avoided if you live in a place quite far away from Balham; like, say, the Gobi Desert.

Reviewed by Christian Rose-Day

Description:
The Exhibit is a large venue across three floors, the main bar on the ground floor is perfect for an after work drink, or why not have a meal with your friends in our private dining room. If it's your birthday, hire out our 65pax Level 3 bar with Balcony, or treat your friends to an intimate film screening in the cinema! What ever you do you will have fun with us! (Updated 10/06/2010)

The Exhibit Food & Drink Menus

Listed below are few sample food and drinks items available at The Exhibit. These lists are not enhaustive, but are instead designed to give you an overview of the venue's offerings and assciated prices.

The Exhibit Food menu

The Exhibit Diner offers American food in a relaxed diner setting. Come for Burgers, Dogs, Ribs and Shakes, and American style Brunch till 4pm on the weekends!

Please contact the restaurant direct on 0871-223-3780 to make a booking over 10

Item	Price
Pan Roasted Fillet of Plaice	£9.00
served with creamed leeks, potato pancakes and beurre blanc
Slow Cooked Shoulder of Lamb	£9.00
Served with pearl barley broth and Cavolo Nero

The Exhibit Drink menu

Full wine menu, good selction of draft, bottle beer and cocktails. Happy Hour- Every day from 5-8pm 241 on Bottles of Wine, Bottles of San Miguel and selected Cocktails

Item	Description	Price
Flaming Passion	House Tequila shaken with passion fruit syrup, fresh passion fruit and lime, served over crushed ice. Garnished with a flaming passion..	£8.00
Gingerbread Julep	Makers Mark Bourbon, Mint & Gingerbread syrup all served over crushed ice, garnished with a ginger biscuit.	£7.50

The Exhibit Special Offers

Dinner and a Movie-

Eat in the restaurant before going to see a film on a Tueday/Wednesday and your ticket is only £3!!

The Exhibit Opening Hours

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
11:00am - 11:00pm	5:00pm - 11:00pm	5:00pm - 11:00pm	5:00pm - 11:00pm	5:00pm - 12:00am	11:00am - 2:00am	11:00am - 2:00am

The Exhibit Map

• Show me a Printable map

“I love this venue. It's got everything - a bar with wifi, aquarium and Wii; a fancy restaurant that has a cracking special offer deal every night of the week; a swanky cocktail bar with views of the Sainsbury's car park; and, my favourite bit, a cinema that allows you to take your drinks AND your dessert in with you.” Rating: — Leigh, Tooting (24 Jan 2010)

“I've been in Balham for 7 or 8 years now and this is now my favourite place in SW London. Main attraction is the bar - great atmosphere, and there's a happy hour until 11pm Thursday and Fridays. The music is spot on, which in turn attracts a great crowd of no-niggle SW Londoners all having fun. A few years back when it was dance/house music here it was a bit of a chavvy crowd, but they've all moved on now, thankfully, and it's mainly local young professionals... and their mates realising South West London beats being north of the river! My new discovery about this place has been the restaurant - the 393 menu is just top value... you're getting really good food at the price it would cost you to go to pizza express or a curry house. It's become a weekly staple for my girlfriend and I, and the restaurant is always busy. haven't been to the cinema yet, but at £3 for some cool films, looks pretty good. Bit of a raving endorsement really... this bar has come on leaps and bounds. Tr” Rating: — darwin, London (23 Nov 2009)

“My girlfriend and I went to the Balham Exhibit for drinks and dinner last night. The service was excellent and the decor is just as cool as it always has been - although now starting to look a little 'used'. But our main problem was the food. I ordered a house burger which was cold and tasted just like a Burger King Whopper (maybe it was..?) with no special relish just an overload of onions. My girlfriend had the pesto chicken. It was sold as breast but also turned up partly on the bone and the pesto/tomato sauce had a slight meaty/fishy/taste... To top it off the other reason of the evening was to watch a film in the cinema on level three afterwards. Although the price seemed very reasonable at £3 each it was delayed by half an hour. Thankfully the manager understood that we weren't happy and gave us vouchers to return another night but was a shame as the staff there are excellent but food and service are going downhill raplidly...” Rating: — jason hart, london (03 Sep 2008)

“The Exhibit is a breath of fresh air for Balham and so much better than the grandad pubs or dodgy knock off corporate bars. I fully recommend it for a full on sesh or just a few lazies after work.” Rating: — steve, london (03 May 2006)

“Have just moved into the area and had a great dinner last Thursday at the Exhibit with friends. The place was buzzing and the food fantastic. I had the Red Mullet which was incredible. The last time I had had Red Mullet was in Barbados and it was caught about an hour beforehand. Last Thursday nights was better. My friend had the 8oz Steak which he said was excellent! Everything seemed very fresh and came out from the kitchen in good time. The staff were also very friendly and helpful. After dinner we moved into the cocktail lounge and had some very good cocktails at the bar. We ended up staying until the place closed. Really great restaurant! I have been to BKB across the street as well and there is no comparison, The Exhibit wins hands down. Plus, BKB is about twice the price and the staff not as helpful or as friendly! Thanks Exhibit, I'll be back soon.” Rating: — Jonty, London (17 Apr 2006)

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